
SUDBURY POLICE
NOTICE OF ARREST:
It is with great pleasure that we announce that the “Ringleader” of the “(Crappy) Assistant Murders” has been apprehended and is being held in custody.
James Hodgins was arrested after a complicated sting operation involving numerous law enforcement agencies on both sides of the borders. The comprehensive investigation has included officers from across Ontario and several US states. (see missing persons files). CSIS has also expressed interest, as has the FBI, with possible follow up by CIA, NRA, CFL, NHL, NBA, NAACP, PPOC, WHMIS, DOD, DEA, ATF, DOT, FDA, NCIS, USDA, UN, RICO, NASA, UNICEF, OPP, NSA, NATO, FUBAR, and several divisions of SPCA. (no animals were harmed in the commission of any of these crimes, but they may have been used as potential weapons). See “squirrel” addendum.
NB: Now, as the search goes on for any possible accomplices to these crimes. For his own protection, (and at his own request) Mr. Hodgins will be held in padded, solitary.
It also should be noted that during the high risk take down that it became apparent that Tazer use was ineffective on the suspect. It seems to be the first time on record that officers reported a suspect as “asking for more”! He was heard saying “Do it again” numerous times. Til the arresting officers finally gave up when their units ran out of charge, and even though the subject reported he “had extra batteries in his bag”, it was decided to just quit and put him in the back of the cruiser. The officers declined to put him in the trunk as he requested.
This is what happens when you go visit Brad Kelly of Tequila Moon Productions in Cambridge Ontario. I thought he was my friend, I thought he was just taking an image of me to be a nice guy. I knew I should not have confided in him and his little Pet Rat. This made me laugh when I just received it. I met Brad a few years ago while attending a convention of the Professional Photographers Of Canada and realized at that time he had a very odd sense of humour, just like me. Thanks again Brad, it was great seing you yesterday and I look forward to hanging with you in Nashville Next week. Click here for the previous “Crappy Assistant Chronicles”